Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tuesday Teaser - Birthday Girl

Choose to be the new girl in town at your own peril. I get now why Mom never lived farther than twenty minutes from the house she was born in all her life. I looked around my empty living room, the balloons in the corners mocking my solitude. The food on the kitchen table sat untouched, a chocolate cake still pristine in the center.

This was what happened when a girl sponsored her own birthday party.

Someone knocked on the front door. I checked my watch and greeted Marcy, my best friend. She shoved a present into my hands.

“Hi, Hattie, sorry I can’t stay, but I wanted to give you this so you wouldn’t think I forgot.” She smiled, ran back down the driveway to her Honda, waved, and zipped away. She’d been fifteen minutes late. We might be rethinking that friend title.

I placed the small gift on the table and put the food back in the refrigerator. Didn’t want to poison anyone, should they ever show up. I hadn’t invited a lot of people—there weren’t many I knew well enough yet to let into my home—but I’d put out a decent spread. There was even alcohol, and I didn’t drink.

After another half-hour, I gave up and turned the lights out in the living room, then cut a piece of cake for myself and stuck one candle in it.

“Happy friggin’ birthday to me.”



  1. Oh, I like this. I like it a lot. It's sad and I know that billy-no-mates feeling very well from my teenage years.

  2. boo.. I've been there. Love the scene, tho :D

  3. Aww, that's so sad. I think my favorite image are the sad balloons and the single piece of cake. Your MC clearly needs a hug.

  4. Love the teaser. Get a great sense of setting and the narrator's emotion. It's a sad and angry scene, but perfectly subdued so it's not melodramatic. My only suggestion would be to eliminate the sentence "This was what happened when a girl sponsored her own birthday party." The last line convey's the emotion perfectly and you set up everything well so we know what is happening.

  5. Thanks, guys. <3

    She gets the hug and more. This is the opening to a sweet little romance I started last year, and just when she thinks she's all alone, the hero shows up at her door. :D

  6. I was always the "new girl" I can totally relate to this. Good job


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